Booze, Boobs and Robot Boots No. 12: Tales of Suspense 50

What's happening? Mandarin, the somewhat racist but Communist foil villain for Iron Man, makes his first appearance. He's checking out his all-seeing orb (watching B-roll footage of Iron Man flying) when some Red China commanders roll into his castle and demand the secrets of nuclear power. Mandarin says, "No." Half a world away, some army big shots are asking Iron Man if he'll go on a fact-finding mission to Red China and figure out who Mandarin is. Iron man says, "Sure."

So Iron Man gets a lift from an American plane, attacks the Mandarin castle, gets busted up a little bit and manages to escape without much harm, but without completely defeating the Mandarin. Even though Mandarin's rings overwhelm Tony, he manages to defeat ol' Mandy by using geometry.

ETC: When Tony agrees to head to China, the plan preempts an employee dinner, so he heads back to the office to beg off work. He tells some random guy he's not coming to the dinner, and the employee gets snippy so Happy punches his face in. Tony berates Happy by calling him a clown and then making him go to the dinner in Tony's place.

MIA: Pepper's freckles. She appears during the interlude between Tony, Happy and Employee No. 592. She has an internal monologue about how her new makeup and new hairdo should get Tony's attention, but he's too busy being a shitty boss. She finally yells at everyone for not paying attention to her (and mentions specifically her new lack of freckles). Later, she calls Happy to get a date with him cause no one else was available.

MVP: Geometry! When Mandarin is done using his Rings of Awesome, he starts throwing martial arts moves at Tony (see below) and finally has him cornered. Since he showed off his skill by breaking a metal bar with a Karate chop, Tony knows Mandarin could slice him in half. So, he does what any normal person would do. He whips out the forearm-strapped slide-rule and does a quick calculation. By placing his blocking arm at just the right angle, Tony survives the blow AND causes Mandarin such intense pain as to knock the Commie bastard out.

WTF: Not only is Mandarin some kinda evil genius (who holds ransom the secret of nuclear weapons from even his own allies) with rings of power and a sweet, booby-trapped castle, but he's also the world's greatest Karate master! I don't want to even get into a whole big thing about how Karate is a Japanese art and Chinese martial artists practice Kung Fu, but this is still ridiculous. I mean, how overpowered does a villain have to be to challenge a guy in a robot suit? Also, "greatest Karate master in the world"? What governing body even ranks these things?