What's happening? You knew it was bound to happen. Tony Stark's loins finally spell doom for Iron Man. The (vaguely named) Communist villain "Leader" calls in a couple of heavy hitters in Black Widow and (again, vaguely named) Boris to take down Tony Stark, his bodyguard and that turncoat Vanko. The plan seems to go off pretty well with Black Widow enticing Tony to the point he just casually allows Boris to wander around his heavily guarded factory. Boris kidnaps Vanko then dresses up as Crimson Dynamo. Meanwhile, Tony and Madame Natasha are out on the town at some fancy club swooning over one another. Black Widow is a long way from the kung-fu, tight-suited, red-headed badass she's most well known for, but she's kicking the best two weapons she has. (Hint: It's her tits.) Boris (in Crimson Dynamo regalia) starts fucking shit up back at HQ so Tony rushes back, changes into Iron Man, gets his ass kicked, gets kidnapped and taken back to a Russian sub.
Luckily, it's the same submarine Vanko is held in, so they escape together and zip back to put the whooping on Boris. Somehow (transistors, laser lights, explosions, Russian accents, you pick) Vanko and Boris explode to their deaths leaving Tony to mourn their loss and Natasha roaming the American landscape.
ETC: Boris gets the drop on Vanko and after exchanging some "Oh, it's you" kinda banter, Boris opts to forego his desk-lifting strength and use one of Vanko's old inventions, "the jet paralyzer." Vanko recalls the invention after seeing it but admits he did forget about it. Boris fires and these white tentacles burst forth and wrap Vanko up and take him out of commission. I've said before, I am no scientist. I'm not real certain what a transistor even does, but if I invented something as useful as a "jet paralyzer" I'd keep something that handy around, ya know?
MIA: Tony's cool. I mean, he's still charming when he's asking out (and taking out) the femme fatale Natasha. But he's pretty smitten and oblivious during their date. Even when in midbattle with a Boris-filled Crimson Dynamo suit, he's distracted when Natasha runs out the old "Damsel in Distress" play. The Commies should really just send out an army of sexbots, hot spies and sexy assassins if they really want to take Tony out. The man has an obvious weakness.
MVP: Vanko. He's kinda the reason the team of Boris and Natasha (not that one) is so successful (at least combined with Tony's horndoggery). Still, he risks and ultimately sacrifices his own life to save Iron Man and the project they were working on. Also, in the opening pages, he's hard at work long past quitting time. He's a good employee dammit! He'll be missed.
WTF: We're introduced to Boris when he and Natasha walk into the Leader's office. Comrade Chieftain asks him to step around the desk to check out some Russian shit, but Boris is aghast at this request. Walk around? WALK AROUND? Why the fuck would I walk around? I can lift this desk OVER MY HEAD. Boris clean-and-jerks the desk. I've stepped around empty cardboard boxes before to save the effort. You can't tell me picking up a desk is less effort than walking around. Also, no one else in the room seems to give two shits about Boris and his bizarre anti-walking-around-things political leanings.
Do you think Boris and Natasha was an intentional thing? Or are those the only other two russian-y names King Hack Stan Lee could think up?
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