Booze, Boobs and Robot Boots No. 8: Tales of Suspense 46

What's happening? Soviet-backed, robot-suited villain Crimson Dynamo hits Stark plants all over the... country? city? state? Wherever. Since Dynamo is busting up so many different places, Iron Man can't track him down. This leads the government to consider pulling Stark's contracts and some even go as far as accusing him of being a Soviet spy (guess whipping the Red Barbarian's ass wasn't enough apple pie proof for some people).

This leads to Dynamo attacking Stark HQ, where Iron Man and Dynamo face off in a brilliant, epic battle of confusing technology and men in robot suits which involved conversation about as thrilling as a pissing contest between two 85-year-old physics professors. After trapping Dynamo in a prison of trees, Iron Man threatens to toss his ass in the ocean where, I guess, he would be killed by all the electricity. Then Iron Man convinces Dynamo to defect to the U.S.

ETC: It's pretty obvious why the Soviets didn't win the Cold War. I mean, not only did the Red Barbarian go bat shit on his troops when he was angry, but so too does the mysterious (fat and bald) leader, who throws random vases at his personal guard after finding out Dynamo has gone to the other side.

MVP: No one. Not a soul. Tony couldn't track down the saboteur until Dynamo came to him. Dynamo is sort of an idiot (see below) and was doing fine until he willingly sought out Iron Man. Happy and Pepper continue to bicker and be fairly useless in their second issue. It's a comedy of errors that's sorta like two armless boxers running into one another until one falls down. It's about that exciting, too.

MIA: Any sense of history. I'm sure Vanko (Dynamo) believed his Soviet boss would double cross him when Tony lies to him about the betrayal. Not only does Vanko buy it and assent to a defection, but he's willing to put all his work he had done for Mother Russia in the hands of his lifelong enemy.

To top that off, Tony makes the (up until just a moment ago) Russian saboteur one of his top researchers, completely ignoring millions of dollars of damages this man wreaked in a matter of weeks.

WTF: The issue starts off with Vanko, in full Crimson Dynamo regalia, kicking the shit out of some tanks and some robots made to look like Iron Man. I mean, he's pretty unstoppable. He's going to hand Iron Man's ass to Tony Stark's headless corpse. Yet, when the pair finally met, the great electric weapons are useless because of Iron Man's transistor-powered electrical force field. All that time to prep, enter the country unnoticed and set up this assassination attempt on Iron Man and you didn't bother to put together a scouting report?