Hey, What's the Deal? Have you ever asked yourself what it would be like if a robot Spider-Man sent back over a thousand years from the future battled Earth's Mightiest Heroes? You have?! Well, hey buddy, does Kang the Conqueror (last seen getting outsmarted by goddamned Rick Jones) have a treat for you. He comes up with a brilliant plan to send a Spider-Spider-Bot lures the Avengers to Mexico, because every plot involving the Avengers stupidly trusting somebody has to involve international travel. The mechanical webhead makes pretty easy work of the Avengers but there's one person he didn't count on being there to stop him. That one person?
The real Spider-Man! Destitute high school student Peter Parker, despite barely earning enough money selling shitty, self-photos to keep his Aunt May in wheatcakes, somehow managed to make his way down to Mexico to save the day. Some scintillating Spider-on-Spider violence in mid-air leads to the real Spidey finding the "control stud"3 of his Spider...clone4 and sending him plummeting to Earth, defeated. Congratulations, Kang! You're in the fucking future and should have already known what was going to happen and you still somehow failed.
ETC: Whichever sorry bastard writes the letters page basically admits they scrapped the original conclusion to the story and shoehorned the real Spider-Man in there at the end so as not to be accused of a bait and switch, what with advertising Spidey on the cover and all. Unfortunately, they didn't take it a step further and remove all dialogue because the cover also said "'Nuff Said."
MVP: The Spider-Man robot in a losing effort, if for no other reason than taking out the Wasp by making a Fly Swatter out of his webbing!
WTF: He also successfully stops Thor's hammer with the help of this webbed ball sac.
1 Why not create a Galactus robot? Hell, why not create three Galacti and send all of them back to squash The Avengers? Just Spider-Man? The cynic in me is leaning towards "selling comics." But the optimist in me thinks Kang's just not very good at this.↩
2 Tony Stark kicked the bucket(head), according to the always helpful editor's note, in Tales of Suspense #61, which Kaz has not yet gotten to. Sorry for the spoiler, guy. Anyway, Iron Man has gone mysteriously MIA since then. No one thinks to connect the dots.↩
3 Thankfully, the Wasp was already dispatched before she could toss in "I'm looking for a stud to control me, too!"↩
4 Hmmm... what an intriguing idea.↩
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