Hey, What’s the Deal: You're Henry Pym. You're smart as hell -- I mean, you have particles named after you for fuck's sake -- you can either shrink down to the size of a tiny insect or make yourself a literal giant, and to top it off, you're an Avenger! Well guess what else you are, pal? A big fuckin' joke. Your ant friends are acting sketchy as hell and you think they're warning you about some impending doom, so what do you do? You call a meeting of the Avengers, of course. And how is this threat treated by your teammates? Iron Man thinks you're pulling his chain. Thor thinks you're wasting his time. The Wasp blows you off for a hair appointment. Even Captain America would rather play peacemaker than have to actually address your silly bullshit. You're Henry Pym and the only way you could be any lower, is if you went down into the Earth’s core to investigate on your own only to be captured, which, hey how about that, is exactly what you do! And guess who has to bail your ass out? That’s right, The Avengers. You’re depressing as hell, Hank.
ETC: It really can’t be understated how disrespectful the other Avengers are to Pym, but it’s par for the course with these guys, who can’t seem to go more than a few issues without infighting, usually caused by the hotheaded God of Thunder. So, Hank goes down underground to check out what’s going on and is quickly captured by, ugh, Mole Man, leading his army of mindless Subterraneans, who he has outfitted in very sexy swimsuits1. Turns out, Mole Man is working with The Red Ghost2 on an atomic gyroscope. And I know I don’t have to tell you this but that is bad fuckin’ news, hombre. Apparently.
So all these earthquakes begin to pop up around the globe, which I guess is finally enough for the Avengers to spring into action. It’s a real bad news/good news situation for Earth’s Mightiest Heroes: The bad news is Wasp is this week’s acting chair and you just have to figure nobody's happy about that. The good news: after announcing that she’s chairman, she immediately defers to Captain America in her very next sentence.3
The Avengers go underground, free Pym, come together as a team, and win the day, with Ant Man getting that sweet, sweet taste of vindication. Also, hopefully, Wasp’s fresh hair was ruined in the subterranean humidity.
MVP: You’re Henry Pym. You were right about your hunch. You got to be the big hero, destroying the gyroscope and leaving Red Ghost and Mole Man to bicker like the world's ugliest married couple. And you’re going to be so fucking smug on the way back home to New York.
WTF?: Holy shit! It’s Iron Man on rollerskates!4
1 Who wore it better?
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2 Red Ghost would later hang up his horrible-fitting purple coverall and become a music teacher in the town of Springfield.↩
3 Her other big act as chairman is later when she tells the team that they have to give Pym a “unanimous apology and a vote of thanks.” I’m sure he’ll really appreciate you sticking to a formal Robert’s Rules of Order type of thing instead of just saying you were a bunch of assholes to him.
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4 For the record, they’re transistor-powered (of course) and they keep his built-in batteries fully charged. I dunno, just spitballing here, I'm by no means a genius engineer, but maybe use your rocket boots to get to Avengers mansion and then roll around there in private to recharge your batteries? You have a reputation to uphold, for crying out loud! Who can stop Iron Man? I don't know, some loose gravel? A puddle with some moss in it?↩
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