Hey, What's the Deal? The Avengers vs The Masters of Evil. Nuff Said1!1Welp, see ya!
...what? You want more? Fuck. Alright, so the dude who was responsible for the death of Captain America's sidekick (and love interest? I'm as of yet unclear) Bucky -- Baron Zemo -- has brought together some dudes who are apparently really at the top of their game when it comes to being evil. You might even call them Masters of Evil. In fact, why don't we just go with that? The Masters of Evil -- Radioactive Man2, Black Knight3 and... sigh... The Melter4 -- all villains from the Avengers individual past, enact Zemo's plan to unleash industrial-strength glue on the people of New York City. Yeah: Glue. I guess my hopes were a little higher for a group called "The Masters of Evil" whose leader is a former Nazi but hey, glue... you know, that's, uh, that would suck. Sure.
2Not to be confused with the Simpsons character.
3 Not to be confused with the The Martin Lawrence movie.
4 Not to be confused with, uh, a fondue set. God, I wish the Masters of Evil were comprised of these three instead.
Anyway, now that Cap is runnin' the show for the Avengers, they make short work of the Masters of
5 Well, other than when a semi carrying a large shipment of macaroni noodles is overturned, creating the world's largest piece of macaroni art.
ETC: Once again, the crack editing staff at Marvel fuck up someone else's name, this time it's hated ham radio enthusiast Rick Jones, who is called "Rick Brown" at one point. And once again in the letter pages, they joke about messing the names up and are like, "Next time, we'll try to get everyone's names right! ha ha!" and 1964 Me is like "FUCK YOU! I PAID 12 CENTS FOR THIS FUNNY BOOK! I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A MALT AT THE SODA SHOP WITH THAT MONEY!! SOME QUALITY CONTROL! PLEASE!"6
61964 Me has both a false sense of entitlement and a short fuse, apparently. Time travel'll do that to you, though, boy.
MVP: Captain America. The Masters of Evil were brought together by Zemo because each one was specifically designed to match up well against each specific Avenger. Cap realizes this and comes up with a pretty smart plan: Mix it up. I imagine they put the names in a hat, Secret Santa-style, and drew who they were each going to combat instead. I'm sure if Thor was still in charge, he would have found a way to attack The Hulk again, even though he wasn't even anywhere in this issue. Norse idiot.
MIA: The dull aching pain I had when reading the previous five issues. This one was pretty lean and mean with not a lot of waste in it. The addition of Cap has been great.
WTF: You guys, I realize it's just a terrorist attack involving glue but is now really the time to be skitching on the back of Iron Man's truck?
Talk about fuck ups. Avengers #6 takes place immediately after Avengers #5. They stopped in Chicago to refuel their jetcopter (and watch Cap toss his shield around) en route to answering the distress call the Teen Brigade sent about New York. And yet Iron Man is wearing a new, different suit of armor from what he wore in the previous issue. Does Tony Stark have a Chicago lab he was able to whisk away to so he could change armor? Does their jetcopter have a changing room complete with Iron Man Mark III armor upgrades? And WTF? Iron Man (not Tony Stark as far as the Avengers know, but IRON MAN) was allowed by Cap to open up his shield to put transistor magnets in? Cap's shield is hollow?! It's made of unbreakable vibranium and adamantium, but it's hollow?
ReplyDeleteJohn, put your faith in uberhack Stan Lee and Tony Stark's transistors and everything will go down a lot smoother.
ReplyDelete