Hey, What's the Deal? From the future comes the newest super-villain that's the toughest villain the Avengers have ever fought and/or will ever fight (until the next issue), and that is Kang The Conquerer. All you need to know about this story is this: After easily handling Iron Man, Captain America, Giant Man and Thor, Kang ends up being brought down by The Wasp1. And Rick Jones2. There's just no coming back from that one, Kang. You blew it; you really blew it. Your entire timeline has been irreparably damaged now. Instead of barbarians senselessly murdering each other with advanced weaponry created by men much smarter than them centuries earlier, the place is populated by ham radio enthusiasts and fuck-hungry bugwomen. 1 Janet is fortunate enough to find a weapon Hank has at the lab that just happens to be the one thing that can stop Kang. She refers to it as a "Power Ray" but it's actually a Deus Ex Machine Gun. Also, I'm on first name basis with the Pyms now apparently.
2 Referred to as "Rick Brown" at one point. On the first page of this issue, it compares Stan Lee to Victor Hugo but I'm going to go ahead and venture a guess that ol' V-Hug never accidentally referred to Jean Valjean as Jean Valjohnson
This issue sucked.
ETC: I realize that storytelling is going to evolve over the years and the art is going to become more expressive but the amount of needless exposition and "play-by-play" dialogue in this issue is revolting and possibly worse than it's been since the first issue.3 Kang comes from a future where mouth-breathing barbarians roam the land, so I can understand if it's all he knows but what's the excuse for the rest of these pricks? It's okay to internalize some things, alright?
This issue really sucked.
3 Look, I get that there's going to be some kinks to work out. I mean my first issue review wasn't anything to write home about4 but this is issue #8, so shouldn't some of these Marvel creeps have a few of the kinks worked out? Because this one felt like a HUGE regression.
4 But hey, why would you write home about that? Jesus, that'd be a pretty disappointing "socks for christmas" type of letter to receive.
MVP: I will not, I cannot, give Rick Brown-Jones an MVP. I just flat refuse. I will say that his plan, though oversimplified, was surprisingly smart. Or maybe Kang was just surprisingly dumb to fall for it. Rick and his Teen-Brigade pals somehow managed to get close enough to Kang to pledge allegiance to him. And God bless him, the purple naif took them right up on their offer without so much as a second thought and zoomed them up into his ship, where they were able to free the Avengers. I have zero doubt that Rick will passive-aggressively bring it up every time Cap subtly shuns his advances.
Rick Jones, MVP-ish performance. That is how bad the issue sucked.
MIA: Any enjoyment at all. This was a massive-sized humorless void. To illustrate this point, I present the sole highlight of the issue for me:
You tell 'em, Dave.
WTF:
This fuckin' guy is unfrozen for, like, two weeks and all of a sudden he's giving Thor advice on best use of the equipment? Suggestion: Maybe have one of the three science-adept people on the team (or even ham radio-lover Rick Jones) handle the complicated electronic stuff instead of the Norse God and the 1940s dude. You two can stick to looking aryan and beefy.
This. Issue. SUCKED.
You had me at Jean Valjohnson.
ReplyDeleteWhy I like The Wasp:
ReplyDeleteUpon seeing Kang up close for the first time: "I'll bet he's not bad looking under that silly headgear he's wearing!"
She's an eternal optimist. Why, she'd probably fuck him if he's handsome underneath his helmet. Bet that'll make Thor jealous.
Yeesh, she is shameless.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what the relationship between Hank and Janet is like behind closed doors but she's either insatiable or ol' Giant Man is just not giving her what she needs.